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Even if you had caught your husband in bed with another woman, we wouldn't necessarily recommend that you divorce him.

Is he repentant and willing to change his behavior? You should also find out if your spouse's involvement with "cybersex" is part of a larger pattern of behavior.

If it part of a bigger syndrome, there are other questions you should be raising before jumping to the conclusion that it's time to get a divorce. Is the abuse so severe that you feel as if your personal safety (and that of your children, if you have any) is being compromised? Meanwhile, we'd encourage you to confront your husband about his unacceptable behavior.

Is it really a more serious problem than, say, addiction to online pornography?

To put it bluntly, can it be regarded as adulterous, does that mean that it gives the violated partner biblical grounds for divorce?

As we see it, there are no straightforward, cut-and-dried answers to either of these questions.

You can see this clearly if you stop and think for a moment about the first part of your problem.

You're also on target in supposing that what is true of mental fantasy is probably even more directly applicable in cases of "virtual" activity.

But having said this, we feel compelled to ask-is "grounds for divorce" the point?

Because "virtual reality" is such a new and relatively untested phenomenon, it's difficult to know exactly what it to different people.

How is it perceived and experienced, physically, mentally, and emotionally, on the individual level?

By using a "virtual reality suit," for example, they can stop just short of the physical act itself. And the word "adultery" naturally comes to mind when one of the parties involved in such an illicit and sexually oriented "relationship" happens to be a married man.