Start Female sarcasm about dating

Female sarcasm about dating

We’re giving you 46 smartass quotes for life, breakups, comebacks, and general advice to live by.

#10 “Shut up with the back talk, because if I wanted lip from you, I’d sit on your face” – L. Casey, Dominic [Read: 11 profound relationship quotes everyone can relate to] #11 “If you’re cooler than me, would that make me hotter than you?

” #12 “You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now.” #13 “Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.” – Bill Murray #14 “Sorry, I’m not Adele.

You have to touch them all over before they respond. Rub one ball and everything moves.” #7 “I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because I’m still looking for ideas.” #8 “I’m not very good at advice.

May I interest you in a sarcastic comment, instead?

” – Chandler, #9 “When I feel down and someone tells me to ‘suck it up,’ I get the urge to break their legs with a baseball bat and then say ‘walk it off.’” Breakup smartass quotes Love is grand, until it isn’t.

That’s when you’ll want to have an arsenal of coy, yet hilarious, comebacks ready in your back pocket.

I don’t wish the best for you, nor do I want to find someone like you.

I do, however, want to set fire to all of your stuff.” [Read: All the quotes you need while going through a breakup] #15 “You cross my mind only on Thursday morning. Well, historically speaking, more powerful.” #19 “I’m going back to living my fabulous life before you interrupted it to remind me that there are still assholes in this world.” #20 “When your ex says, ‘You’ll never find anyone like me’ reply with: ‘that’s the point.’” #21 “Today I saw something that reminded me of you.

I love sharpies.” #32 “Light travels faster than sound.

This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Steven Wright #33 “If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? You don’t want to be that person who could literally write a book about what you wish you would have said. I’m just mean and people think I’m joking.” #35 “Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.” – Winston Churchill #36 “I can only please one person a day. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.” #37 “If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.” -Marilyn Monroe #38 “I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.” #39 “Sometimes I wish I was a bird…

When she collected her professor evaluations at the end of the year, she was startled by one comment in particular:“She’s not funny,” the student wrote.